Trident, Sex and a whole lot of nothing..

Dear reader,

      Hello again, I guess I should write on this more - but I have always hated blogger's that blog everyday. I like to leave it until I actually have something I'd like to tell or discuss with you, until something actually happens in my life or around me before I start talking about it. So I hope you understand my very irregular posts.

      In other news, you're looking at the President of his universities LGBT (Which is the group of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people). It may not seem big, but I'm in charge of over 200 people at my university and in control of what they do for extra curricular activities and entertaining new freshers. I was very happy to have overwhelming 96% of the vote. I guess having nice eyes and a large opinion actually counts for something in the world. Maybe next I shall be Prime minister? No? ... Okay =( But, whole reason I have mentioned this would be the huge mess I had to do by calling, emailing and down right stalking charities to get sponsorship for our organisation. Without it, we don't have an operating budget and the LGBT people are our university suffer. Finally today I got an email by a nice man who works for GMFA, a gay male based charity that specialises in free funding and other things for students. Did make me scream with joy that I was elected to do a job that no one could be arsed to do, and accomplished it.

      But, I do want to say that my friend, who in my last post was having obvious problems, seems to be feeling allot better about herself. Rose did not really like how her world was going and I suppose what her life was turning into, future looked bleak and her body image was in her eyes short, fat and not attractive. I've spent the past week by her side, making her smile and giving her some new memories to treasure, I just hope this is enough to keep her afloat for a few months until she is in proper help. I have to admit, I did cry for the first time over it at the weekend. Now I know that may seem weird to you, dear reader, but to me it is a big deal. I do not cry, never really have, never really will. But, when something hits me, I cry big time... On Saturday the 11th there was more tears coming out of my eyes then water tipping over Angel Falls. All the stress of the summer, Rose, the fact that the guy I liked most of the summer Cory stood me up, all came out in a big mush, while I was at a friends house... Then I vomited =) Haha! Oh the joy! I guess it helped getting it all out, but not for next time, I shouldn't have a lot of wine before hand..

      While on the tube yesterday, I did see a story that interested me greatly! There was an article about the renewal of the Trident weapons system, and it's implications. Now, I am a proud Liberal Democrat, and during the election we campaigned on removing the system all together. But now under the new coalition government, we have seemed to have backed down. I am very passionate about this, I think renewing this system is a waste of money we cannot afford to spend right now. The newspaper stated that it is an estimated £21.8bn to renew our system, which would include new warheads, new missiles and 4 new Vanguard II class submarines. 

      However, I believe that this is a waste of money for a fleet of 4 submarines that will never be used for more then patrols. Fair enough, I understand the need for a deterrent. I understand that bad guys that don't like our little nation have big guns too, so therefore we need big guns so they don't fire their guns. But I believe you should use the money to make better guns, not the same big guns we did before. Why not spend the money on building 2 of the most technological battleships on the planet? Or 30 state of the art stealth bombers? Or, my personal favourite, bio weaponry. Now, Bio weapons are very controversial subject, as people don't like their implications. However they are not much different from Nuclear Weapons, there is only one difference; Nuclear wipes out the wealth of a nation and the population, while bio weapon's destroy the population and leave the wealth of the country in fact. That, is a real deterrent. Nuclear is outdated, other nations know we will never use them. New age calls for a new weapon in my eyes, a new threat. So if we have to renew our deterrent, make it something worth while.

     But I am more interested in what you think about this, reader? Do you think we should renew, not renew, or replace with a better weapon? My mother is very passionate on getting rid of everything, and even halving the size of the army to pay for better education and better health care. Great plan but would that work?

     Anyhow, I believe that counts as my weekly ramble. I shall sign off with that I have a blind date tomorrow, as my friend felt sad about me being stood up, so set me up on a blind date with their friend. Oh fun, lets see how this goes..

     With love, always

Kenai

x

When a Summer closes, an Autumn opens..

     As we now see the close of the summer of 2010, I can't help but feel releaved more then anything else. I suppose summer is meant to be the best thing in the world for a student; no work, no essays, no troubles in the world for you to go off and have fun. Unfortunately from very early on that was not the case..

    But, alas, I have started Autumn now. The time of the year where the world starts to shed it's skin, ready to reborn itself. Which I guess I am going to have to do after my summer of being made homeless, staying on a friends floor, running away 200 miles and then failing my year, but I will still look forward.
    However, last night my friend tried to commit suicide. She came into our house of which we share very down after a walk. I then found two packets of 16 Paracetamol tablets, which after half hour of question with the very much close to passing out friend, she told me she downed all of them with a bottle of wine on the park, and didn't want to continue with her life here. After some time of hugging her and telling her she was stupid, she then collasped.
     I rang the abulence thinking the worse but calmingly telling them what had happened, following the instructions. Ringing my sister Sophia, who was in London, to come over to King's Hospital quickly.

     Most stressful part of the entire ordeal was the waiting area. I was in the waiting area for over an our while they gave her the treatment. And after having to wait 4 hrs for them to test her blood and figure out how much to give her, at 2am while I had to wait in this room I had nothing else to think about then the remark I said to her on the way out of the door..

"Alright, but don't go kill yourself - I want you back in one peice!"

      After a few hours of waiting, they transfered her off of the Major Incidents ward and onto CDU where she can recover, by this point it was 5am, and I was rather tired and in need of a good sandwich to be honest, but I never left her side. The entire time she resisted treatment at every turn she could, which baffled me. In my opinion, her life was okay, however I do not know her well enough to judge. But also what has always pondered me is, what on earth makes people beleive that there is no other option, reason or strength to carrying on any longer to do such a thing? Who could ever do this to their friends or family? How can someone be convinced that swallowing 32 little pills, calmly falling asleep was an answer?

     But, dear reader, I am thankful to say that I took her home this morning after she recovered successfully and after a small psych-evaluation. She stil was not very happy with me, that I had rang the abulence and dragged her to a place where she "did not want have to be the last thing she looked at.." But I was not willing, however much I am a good friend to her, to comply to her wishes and leave her to sleep in her bed like she wanted to.

    However, what baffled me more was that she awoke today like nothing had ever happened. Like she had just had a bad dream and wanted to be her bouncy and bubbley self, forgetting that I had only had 4 hrs sleep after staying up all night while she was being pumped clean, holding her hand.

    My question would be, has anyone else out there been in this position? Can anyone guide me through... As right now, I found it very hard today to even look at her after she was smiling her face off like nothing happened. Can someone help me..?

    Well, I am sorry for the morbid post today. I hope I can post another better one soon. I have a another date with the guy I like soon, maybe I'll have something to share then. Until then..

With love,

Kenai

x